Kindergarten is off to a wonderful start for Eli.  He confronted the new school bravely and courageously like he does with everything in his life.  Keep aiming high, my son. We are so proud of you. 

Dear Eli

Dear Eli,

On the eve of your first day as a kindergartener there is much I want you to know.  But unfortunately if I start to talk about it I will cry, and I don't want you to see that so I'll just write it for now.  Since the day you were born, I knew you were special.  There's a charisma about you that just shines.  When you were little, you were very busy.  I sheltered and protected you as much as I could to keep you safe.  You've grown into such a charming and kind little boy.  And I am so proud.  I will not worry about you while you are at school, I know you will great.  Make new friends buddy, and do not shy away from new experiences.  The world is so big and so awesome - all of it is yours to explore if you choose.  Remember when you are fearful that God is with you and watching over you.  Lean on what we've taught you when your faced with challengers beyond your control.  And lastly, remember that we love you unconditionally & forever.  It's time for you to soar- I cannot wait to see just how high you can fly. 

All my love, 

Mommy 

Kindergarten Round 2

"Sometimes, the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." 

Here's my almost kindergarten boy.  The years have FLOWN.  I am not looking forward to sending him off to elementary school. Not one tiny bit.  But I know he will be awesome and all will be just fine.  There will be lots of tears on September 10th.  Oh be still, my heart. 

Smile

This summer was great & truly awful at the same time.  We experienced a very tragic & traumatic loss of a family member.  I think about the very dark and horrible days surrounding that time nearly every second of everyday.  A beautiful & vibrant light has diminished in our family.  It hurts.  But because of it, I'm a better mom now than I have ever been before. 

It's sad really; this lesson I have found myself discovering. But it's good also. Because of the awful- I have had more fun with my kids than I ever thought possible.  Because of the awful- I have made time to sit and listen to my new reader read chapter books out loud.  Because of the awful- I find joy in wrangling 3 kids at the grocery store despite the chaos.  Because of the awful- later bedtimes and extra candy doesnt seem like such a big deal.  Because of the awful- I was reminded just how important it is to love big everyday. 

I don't know why bad things happen.  Telling my children that another young person they love and adore will never be playing with them again was difficult.  The life lessons this summer were abundant. Live big. Laugh often. Love with your whole heart.  And no matter how hard life may seem, always wear a smile. I'm thankful to Lexi for teaching us this. Xoxo

Best Time of Life

Now that spring is on the horizon, we've been spending more time outside.  And it has been so FUN.  Every year gets a little easier, and this summer will likely be the easiest one yet.  While I find myself enjoying the fact that the kids have all become more independent, I miss them needing me.  Make sense? Yeah, I don't understand it either.  Right after Toby was born, I really struggled with him being my last infant.  Everything I do with him, I do for the last time.  When we left the hospital, I cried (and I HATE hospital stays).  I cried when his umbilical cord fell off, when he stopped nursing, the day I threw away his bottles, during our last ECFE class, when he started sleeping alone in his crib, when he learned to walk... I did a lot of crying with Toby.  But I particularly remember a time when I was newly postpartum and crying to my mom about how this part of my life is over- that she gave me the best advice.  She said, "It's sad to not have new babies, but it's pretty cool to watch your own daughter become a mom.  Or see your son accept his diploma.  And to watch as your children's dreams slowly come true.  This isn't the best part of your life, Kim.  It's only the beginning of it."  I didn't understand that back then.  But I'm starting to get it now.  I'll always miss snuggling a baby at bedtime.  But the feeling of joy I get when I watch one of my children accomplish something they've worked really hard at is not even comparable to that.  Listening to Breena read and finding "I love mommy" notes on my bedside table is pretty awesome.  Watching Eli break a board at Taekwondo and seeing the size of his smile is gratifying.  The day Toby learned to write his name he felt invincible and told me he is a "humongous" boy now.  It's the little things that make this life so great.  I do a lot more crying now than I ever did before kids.  In a few months, I'll only have one preschooler left- the thought of it makes me want to throw up.  I'm so proud of all of them and their little/big accomplishments.  Even on the long & trying days I can honestly say that Mom was right.  This is still just the beginning of the best time of my life thanks to the 3 most incredible little people (& their daddy of course)!

It's been 6 months since I've visited this blog. It's about time for an update!

Breena
Despite a rough start to kindergarten, Breena is now thriving.  She does well in school and has made several friends.  Breena stays busy with dance class during the week.  She loves to read and recently discovered a love for Dr. Suess books.  She has grown up SO MUCH this year.  I miss having her little; but I love the young lady she's becoming.  She's caring, sweet, intelligent and kind. This summer, she will be doing soccer again.  She is a great little player and it's so fun to watch her!  I'm ready for summer to come, I miss spending all day with her.  This year has been a hard adjustment for us but I think we've got it figured out now.  Summer can come anytime.

Eli
Eli attends school every day.  He loves it.  This year eli gave TaeKwonDo a try and enjoyed that too.  Currently he is in gymnastics- and does great!  He's out strong boy, that kid has some big muscles!! He's learning his letters and starting to write short words.  Eli's favorite thing to do is to play his tablet.  So we have to carefully monitor how often he plays! This summer, Eli will be in T-ball! I'm looking forward to watching him!

Toby
Toby loves school.  He has no trouble making friends and listens well to his teachers! Toby started gymnastics and he is so fun to watch. Toby and I get to spend a lot of time together alone these days! We enjoy weekly library trips and trips to the mall.  I can't wait until we can spend more time playing outside! Toby loves his bike!

That's us in a nutshell.  We stay busy and somehow there are never enough hours in a day! I've never been more grateful to work part time!!! Warmer weather is on the way- and we are so ready!

Tomorrow is kindergarten... I can't get the imagine of this tiny baby out of my head.  Nearly 6 years old, and so ready for what lies ahead.  I'll be holding her closely in my heart tomorrow as she ventures off.  <3 

To my soon to be KINDERGARTENER,

I've been dreading this day since the day you were born.  I distinctly remember laying in the hospital bed, numb from the waist down, starring at your big brown eyes and worrying that my time with you as a baby would go too fast.  I was right. It did go fast.  Every veteran mother always advises to enjoy every moment because children grow fast.  It wasn't until recently how absolutely true this is.  Tomorrow we find out who your kindergarten teacher will be, the person who will keep you safe and spend the majority of your week days with you.  It won't be just me any longer influencing you day to day.  And that's pretty hard to swallow.  I hope I've taught you everything you'll need to know to be successful school this year- being kind, having an open heart.  Today when you and I were discussing how everyone was different and special you made me so proud.  I wanted you to acknowledge that everyone is special and inside we are all the same.  I told you that you will meet lots of friends with different colors of skin or hair, you said to me "I know mom. We all have hearts".  I hope you take that with you for the rest of your life.  We all have hearts.  You are one very special little girl.  I am going to miss spending my days playing with you while you're at school.  My heart will be aching when I watch you walk Into your kindergarten class for the first time.  But I know you'll be just fine, actually more than fine.  And me? I'll learn how to live a new normal and figure out how to become a mom to my big girl instead of my baby girl.  Daddy and I love you so much.  You're going to make an awesome kindergartener.  I'll be waiting eagerly for you to come home at the end of each day to share your stories with me.  I love you, little bug.  XOXO 

All my love, 

MOMMY

Preschool Graduation

"Congratulations! Today is your day! You're off to great places, you're off and away!  You have brains in your head. You have feet in you're shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. You know what you know. And you are the girl who will decide where to go." 

Here is my girl- THE KINDERGARTENER!  She is officially a prek graduate, it's on to the big time now- elementary school.  I'm so proud of her! Breena had a huge heart and she's so smart. I'm grateful to be her mom.  

Breena,

You are so ready to leave preschool and continue on to kindergarten.  I am excited to watch from below as you start climbing your mountain. I'll always be here to cheer you on, catch you if you fall, give you a nudge when you need encouragement, and cry tears of excitement for you as you reach each milestone along the way!  I love you sweet girl, congratulations on your big accomplishment. 

All my love,

Mommy  

 

"You're off to great places! Today is your day.  Your mountain is waiting- So get on your way!" 

Seasons

I recently read an article about embracing the seasons of your life.  It seemed to hit home for me as I am finding more and more that my role is changing.  I'm learning to embrace, well at least I'm trying.

We went to the park today, the kids & I.  We fed the ducks, walked around the pond, and stopped to play at a few different playgrounds.  When we reached the first play set the kids ran off, eager to go down the slides.  And I sat down on a nearby bench where I could keep a watchful eye on them.  I didn't need to be right there, they are all capable of climbing and playing without a hovering mother.  It was odd to be seated while they played.  Sort of a nice break, sort of heartbreaking.  I reminisced in my head about a trip we had taken to that exact same park two years prior.  I had an 8 month old strapped to my chest in a baby carrier while I pushed a 2 & 3 year old in a stroller around the park.  I didn't dare allow Eli to get out of the stroller because he would've run.  At this time we only played at parks that had a fence, so I could keep my little guy safe.  My life was harder then, a lot more stressful and I never had any time to myself.  I'm not sure when things changed, but suddenly everyone seems so big.  They don't need me now like they once did.   The season has changed.

This week we watched our kids perform in their spring programs at school.  The last preschool program Breena will ever have.  She has 14 days left in preschool.  FOURTEEN.  After that she will be considered a kindergartener.  She doesn't think she needs me much these days.  She wants to be so grown up & I am desperate to keep her small.  This spring we took the training wheels off her bike.  I knew she was ready.  But when I let go of that little pink bicycle seat to let her fly solo, my eyes stung with tears.  No more training wheels and no need for mom to hold her up.  The season has changed.

The kids are in such a fun stage of life.   They are becoming more independent and in turn we are able to really have a lot of FUN together as a family.  I know wonderful adventures are ahead for us.  But the season of having babies and very small children is just about passed.  Soon our home will have no more diapers, no need for a stroller or sippy cups.  I'll probably cry when I drop my sweet girl off at kindergarten.  And it's all okay.  The flowers are budding on a fresh season, it is going to be different, but beautiful in it's own way. 

And to the leader of the pack, my best friend for nearly 12 years, the one who makes me whole & provides endless hours of laughter... I love you more every day.  

To the littlest one who makes life more fun for us all...mommy loves you.

To the one that turns each day into a musical & helps me see everything thru innocent eyes...mommy loves you. 

To the one who makes my days easier simply by being her sweet & helpful little self...mommy loves you. 

"Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So today is my new favorite day." -Winnie the Pooh 

Thankful

Thru fun days & long days my heart is always grateful for these little people! 

Balancing Act

I've decided to skip the tradition of posting something I'm thankful for everyday in November for two reasons. A) it gets receptive & I find I list the same things each year. B) I already struggle to find enough time in the day I didn't want to add one more thing. 

It's not that I'm not grateful, because I am.  I have been given MUCH this year to be thankful for.  In fact, I think this has been one of my favorite years yet! The kids are becoming more independent & fun to take out, I've found ways to incorporate excerise & me time without feeling guilty, we were able to purchase a bigger home, all the kids started school & love it, work has been steady & I'm in the beginning stages of what I hope to be a profitable new business venture- all in all things are good. Better than good, great. But despite all the wonderful things we are blessed with, life is still a balancing act.  Everyday I balance time spent reading individually with each kid, housework, playtime, cooking, disciplining, & doing it all over again the next day.  Sometimes I get off balance & need to regroup.  That's where I am at right now.  Having to let the house go a little & not let the pile of laundry on the floor keep me from having a good day.  Or sitting down with our newest reader (yep one of my kids can now read!) instead of scrubbing a tub that desperately needs a good cleaning.  You'd think that after being 'mom' for 5 years I'd have figured this out by now.  The truth is, my role is always changing.  What the kids needed one day isn't what they need the next.  No matter how many times I vacuum the dog will still drag in a pile of leaves on her fur.  Balancing isn't easy, isn't always fun but to keep a harmonious home it's a necessity. Maybe by the time they're 18 I will have figured it all out. ;-) 

Happy Birthday Breena!

Happy 5th birthday to my favorite little girl! We love you & are proud of you everyday!!!! 

Breena Turns 5



It was five years ago from this very moment that I was laying flat on my back in a hospital bed awaiting contractions to begin.  Breena was stubborn & didn't want to come out despite our best efforts to convince her it was time.  Finally I delivered her via C-section on October 28, 2008 at 4:52pm. 

 

 

This morning, Dave & I were reminiscing about our first day with Breena.  Looking back I laugh at how clueless we were.  We brought Bree home from the hospital around 1pm on Halloween.  She needed to eat and so I took her into the nursery to rock her in the glider we had placed in there just for her.  Dave brought me a glass of water (because the book said I should drink water) & a stack of new mother books to browse (which I never, ever should have opened).  He then went to the kitchen to heat up some chicken & leftover potatoes for lunch.  There I was holding my brand new baby in a room all alone for the first time.  I nursed her & cried.  Nursing was a struggle for us (I ended up solely pumping for 6 months for reason beyond my control) & I was lonely without Dave.  Finally, she had drifted off to sleep & lunch was ready.  We put Breena in her bouncy chair & sat next to her on the floor to eat our lunch.  We both just starred at her.  Now what??  I remember asking Dave if we should give her a bath?  Feed her again?  Find her a toy?  I finally decided that I really needed a garbage can and a clock to hang on the wall in the nursery so we went to Target (really dumb idea, who goes to Target three days post C-section?!?).  The trip was fine despite being horribly sore from walking until we were on the way home when I realized I had never grabbed the diaper bag!  Our first family outing & I couldn't even remember a diaper bag!  What kind of mother was I?!?  I starred out the window on the drive home trying to catch the tears before the dripped down my nose.  I didn't want Dave to know I was crying over a diaper bag.  What had happened to me?!?  The answer? Motherhood. 

 

 

Breena has taught me more about my life than I have taught her.  I learned very early on from Breena to follow my instincts and dump the baby books.  It was liberating to be able to have the confidence to be her mom without needing to follow someone else's recommendation.  The first few months of Breena's life helped sculpt our parenting style & taught Dave & I how to work as a team.  Breena is a blessing to us in everyway.  She is resilient & smart.  Funny & silly. Sassy & Sweet.  Breena is kind & faithful.  Confident & loyal.  Breena is a good friend, an excellent sister & an amazing daughter.  I cannot believe it's already been five years since the day I was given the incredible gift of becoming her mom. 

Did it!

5k crossed off bucket list! Onto new adventures...