Big Boy

Despite my best efforts to keep Toby a tiny baby, he learned to crawl. I am so sad about it!  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that he is a happy & healthy little guy.  But I just can not believe how quickly the time is passing.  I wish I could save time in a bottle.  Here is a video of mommy's big boy learning to crawl... ***sniffle***

Let Go Fly a Kite

18 Lessons

I saw this on a website & I think it's great!  Here is the link if you are interested to read more: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/05/18-life-lessons-i-want-my-daughters-to-hear/

This Mother’s Day I’d like to give a gift to my daughters.

I want to give them 18 little light bulbs to illuminate their journey…

1. Don’t strive to be popular, settle for being yourself, settle into yourself .

Over the years, I’ve learned that the popular people are the most insecure. The popular girl or boy surround him or herself with others to hide from their own insecurities. When you settle for yourself, you will never settle for anyone who is not themselves.

2. Eat your dessert every day.

Every day, have a treat. Not as a reward, but as a privilege. It is an honor to taste, to enjoy, to salivate and dance with sweetness. Don’t deny yourself this privilege. You have a mouth, you have taste buds, use them.

3. Say No at least once a day.

Don’t be a people pleaser. You can’t do everything and you can’t please everyone, so say, No. By saying no, you are respecting yourself and your energy. Trust me, people will respect you more because when you do say yes, you will mean it. No one will ever question your presence or intention.

4. Never feel guilty for moving away from me, for traveling or going on an adventure.

I want you to leave me, to travel far away and only send a post card once in a while. I didn’t birth you to burden you. I birthed you to release you. My love is here whether you are two feet from me, or 20,000 miles away, go be you.

5. Know that you are absolutely right when you think that the calculus class you are taking is boring…and is information you will never use in real life.

You are right, yet understand that the patience you cultivate when sitting through the class, and the discipline you strengthen to solve the problem, will be the foundation that will allow you to persevere through every challenge and experience in life.

6. Please don’t wait until marriage to have sex.

Just wait until you meet someone who makes you smile, makes you laugh, respects you (as your father does), holds your hand and isn’t afraid to cry in front of you.

7. If you go shopping and you like something, don’t buy it right then.

Put it on hold. Go about your day, go to sleep, and the next day if you are still thinking of it, buy it.

8. Choose something to have faith in.

If you have faith, you have hope, and when you have hope you always see a way. When you see a way, you never give up.

9. Listen to the whisper, the churn in your belly and the goosebumps on your arms.

Those sensations are not sensations at all, they are you speaking. Don’t listen to the second voice, that is just doubt, and definitely don’t listen to the third voice, that is just someone else’s opinion. Always and only trust yourself.

10. Cut your hair short at least once, it will free you.

11. Find Your Yoga.

I don’t care if you ever do a down dog in your entire life, just find something that calms your mind, and devote yourself to it. Find something that keeps your mind and body connected, healthy and working together, because in the times when everything else seems disconnected, it will keep you centered and grounded.

12. Acknowledge your gift.

God put you on this Earth with a legacy, you just have to see it. How do you see it? See this life as a journey. Learn as much as you can, read as much as you can, dance as much as you can, speak as much as you can, listen as much as you can, do as much as you can, travel as much as you can because that’s how you will see it. It’s already inside of you, you just need to spark it, so ignite as many flames as you can, and notice which one keeps burning. That goes for your life partner and your friends too.

Say hello to strangers, smile at the person sitting next to you at the coffee shop, or the person behind you at the grocery store. You never know, not only could they be your everlasting flame, but they could help reveal your gift. Your gift is your legacy, the legacy that will help serve the world.

13. Look around you and see the world, as you do now.

Point and rejoice as you see a bird fly by. Stand with your nose pressed to the glass as the rain pours down. Pick up a leaf or a flower and hold it as you would a piece of gold. Put it on your nightstand and cherish it. If you do this, you will take care of our earth and you may even heal it.

14. Always cheer for the underdog…

…because they have courage to stand up to the top dog.

15. Check in with yourself when you leave someone’s presence.

Ask yourself, Do I feel uplifted and happy? Or, do I feel depleted and lethargic? If you feel uplifted, the person you were just with is a supporter, keep them around. If you feel depleted, the person you were with is an enemy to your heart, don’t associate with them and make no apologies.

16. Write.

Your thoughts are precious and important. The best guidance you will get, is from yourself. Write them down and read them.

17. Clean your room.

How you keep your space, is how you keep your mind. When things are neat, clarity will walk with ease.

18. If you only remember one thing, remember this: You are the most important person in the whole world.

You determine your own direction, and if you trust your own compass, you will always remain on your path.

Terrible Three's

Whoever came up with the term "Terrible Two's" lied. Three year old tantrums are so much worse!!!!

Toby

I've been working on Toby's first year slideshow and couldn't help but share some of my favorite recent pictures of Toby!

Memorial

In honor of Memorial Day coming up we brought flowers to my grandpa's final resting place today. It the first time I've brought Toby there. Here are some photos.

Daddy

We took the kids to the zoo a few weekends ago.  While we were there we saw a group of dads with their kids taking pictures.  No moms around.  I thought to myself, "how sweet of them to spend time with their kids without the moms around".  As I more about this I began to realize what a great daddy my kids have in their lives.  My husband doesn't need a "Daddy's Playgroup" in order to take our kids out for a fun day.  When we were first alone with Breena in the hospital she pooped.  He didn't hesitate for a second to change her first diaper and listened intently as the nurse explained how to properly wipe a girl's bottom (I was bedridden- half unconcious at the time).  If it's bath night he runs the bath water before I get there.  He is ready and waiting with lotion & pj's when the kids get out of the tub.  He has sat up in the middle of the night holding a bucket while a sick child sleeps in his lap.  He is an expert spider killer.  After working a twelve hour day at work he always comes home in a good mood ready to give me much needed relief of juggling three children all day.  He never gets a chance to sit down right after work.  He is paitent when I am not.  He can keep Eli entertained for long periods of time playing invisible dinosaur.  He always backs me up on parenting decisions in front of the kids even if he doesn't agree.  When Breena wakes in the middle of the night she wants to cuddle with Daddy, not me.  He compliments me on being a mother and encourages me when one of the kids is going through a difficult stage.  We co-parent.  He is one half of the team that makes this family so great. I am grateful for him.  And I am so honored to be his children's mother. 

Fun Day

You know it's been a fun day when:
~Breena has helmet hair from wearing her bike helmet all day
~Eli's legs are covered in chalk because he discovered how fun it is to chalk on skin
~Even Toby has a diaper full of sand
~Bathtime at the end of the day only lasts five minutes because mommy is disgusted that the bath water is dark brown from these dirty little kiddos!
We sure LOVE warm spring days at our house!

Happy Mother's Day!

To the three little people who call me mommy: thank you for making me smile everyday. You've given my life more meaning than I ever thought was possible! I love each of you right up to the moon & back.

Picture

The 3 little kiddos and their big glad mommy!

May 3

It's May 3rd again.  The years seem to fly by these days.  It seems like only yesterday I spent this day painting Breena's nursery & setting up a crib in preperation for her arrival. And here I am a few short years later with with a preschooler, toddler, & infant.  My life couldn't be more different than it was on May 3, 2008.  It reminds me of the song "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson.  I heard this song when it was released two years ago.  The lyrics couldn't be more fitting for my experience with May 3rd...

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Would you dare, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

I'm extra grateful today for the morning light in my life and humbly thanking God for the beautifully tearful path that lead me to my three precious babies.  The emerald ring I wear on my hand reminds me of the promise that someday I'll hold my May 3rd baby. 

Changes

We took the kids to the zoo last Sunday.  They love animals so much and always enjoy the opportunity to see animals.  The trip served another purpose too as I was desperately needing to do something special with our kids.  This house (for lack of a better word) crap has really thrown me into a funk.  We have it listed for six months, we sign purchase agreement on our house, fall in love with a new house, deal on our house falls through and we have to rethink & start from scratch. I was not prepared for the emotional roller coaster this has ended up to be.  I'm ready for the end.  Whatever it may be.  Whether we sell & move this summer or wait it out & try again next spring.  We are under contract with the owners of the home we hope to purchase until July so for better or worse the end is in sight. 

I have spent the last week & a half doing what I do best when I find myself  in a funk: rearrange the house, purchase unnecessary things & enjoy a glass or two of wine after my kiddos are in bed.  Dave recognizes my extreme need for change every once in a while.  He's supportive.  I was trying to get him to allow Breena to adopt a kitten.  He wouldn't cave.  So instead I convinced him to switch around bedrooms.  Sunday night we did just that!  Bree & Eli now share our old room, which use to be Eli's room which was a playroom before that.  Confused yet?  We moved into Bree's room and gave Toby Eli's room.  Up until this point Toby has slept in our room (or if I'm going to be honest- Toby slept in my arms).  Toby still wakes often at night but has transitioned well into a crib by himself.  I am sleeping better because I don't hear every little snort he makes while he sleeps.  Breena & Eli are enjoying sharing a room.  In fact they should be napping as I write this but I'm hearing a lot of giggles instead. 

I keep reminding myself to be grateful that we have a safe home and are fortunate enough to be in a position to purchase a larger home.  It'll be okay if we live here another year or two.  Just cozy!