Goodbye 2012!

As the year comes to a close I have been reflecting on what a great year we had. Our family is so blessed. I'm amazed at how much my children have learned this year an what outstanding little people they have become. I hope 2013 is just as great! And for the first time I have decided to really hammer down some resolutions for the new year. I am sharing them here in hopes of holding myself accountable!

1) lose the baby weight! I held onto about 6 extra pounds per kid- that really adds up. We've joined the ymca so I'm ready to make some lifestyle changes and get my family more active.
2) go outside of my comfort level and try new things. This is going to be difficult for me because I enjoy living in my safe little box. My first adventure is joining a water aerobics class.
3) sit down and read to my children individually each day. We read books often here but I generally read to the crowd. In going to scheduled time for reading one on one everyday.

So there you have it! My goals for 2013! I'm sticking to them this year because I can no longer use pregnancy/having an infant as an excuse! Happy New Year and many many blessing to each of you too!

Merry Christmas

Looking through the photos I took tonight I find I'm still in awe that these 3 kids call me mom! I am blessed.

I wish you peace, love and happiness this Christmas and always. From our home to yours, Merry Christmas.

Grateful for puke buckets.

That tummy bug is here again! Bree had it yesterday and about two hours ago Eli woke up with it. When I heard his "I'm going to throw up" cry I couldn't help but sing in my head 'another one bites the dust'. We missed Breena's preschool program today and tomorrow Eli will be missing the special ice cream date he and I had planned. I feel badly for them but I can't help but just feel grateful. My mind still wanders to the mothers of the victims in last weeks shooting. What they wouldn't give to catch one more bucket of puke. We are nearing two hours of illness with Eli, I have rinsed out his bucket no fewer than ten times. He's laying in his bed beside me while trying to sleep (but I know it'll be just minutes before my duty as bucket holder comes into play again). I'm not sure if I'll catch any sleep tonight before my 6am wake up call (AKA Toby). But I'm okay with that. There will be time to sleep tomorrow (maybe) but tonight
I'm grateful, thankful and blessed to be here nursing my sickie back to health.

27

Another blessed year has passed. I'm thankful for the many joys and laughter over the last year. Cheers to another special birthday surrounded with the ones I love!

I remember the Columbine massacre. I can clearly recall my mother sitting on the couch with tears running down her cheeks as we watched the news. I remember a hot lump in my throat struggling not to cry as I tried to imagine how horrifying the experience must have been. I remember being nervous to go to school. But within a short time my fears were gone and life was normal.. I also remember 9/11. I remember exactly where I was when the planes struck (sophomore biology class). I can clearly recall my teachers forgetting about their lessons for the day and carefully choosing their words as they explained to us what was happening. I remember going to church that night a&d tearfully praying. But again life resumed as normal.

Now, I am a mother. Hearing the news of yesterday's shooting impacted me far more than Columbine or 9/11. I saw the news once my kids were down for a nap. I spent those hours sobbing in front of the TV as I watched hysterical parents, terrified children, and an emotional president flash across the screen. I found myself on my knees, praying, but not really know what exactly to pray for. I laid in bed and cried during the late night special about the massacre. I hugged my children. The families of the Sandy Hook shooting have been on my mind constantly. But then I had to go to work. I walked into the familiar salon and notice everything is the same. I'm greeted by my co-workers and make small talk with clients. No one mentioned Sandy Hook. It struck me as so odd that my world goes on, unaffected while across the nation 20 children are being laid to rest. That's 200 fingers that won't open Christmas presents this years, 40 eyes that won't sparkle on their birthday, and 20 little hearts who will never know what it's like to raise a family. I felt guilt being at work today and acting like nothing major had happened. It could have been my child. But it wasn't and I am counting my blessings. My heart is bleeding and my stomach is sick. I want to avoid the news, however I feel an obligation to watch and let my emotions take over. I'm at a loss on where to go from here. Being a mother has changes me, made me more sensitive, and allowed me to see the world differently. While I'm sure in the coming weeks Sandy Hook will no longer be at the forefront of my mind, I am determined not to allow my heart to forget. I continue to pray for all those involved, the losses are incomprehensiblep.

Heartbroken

I can't remember exactly where I read this today but the quote was, "Tonight let your kids do whatever they want to. Do it with them. Tell them you love them."

I have been tearful since hearing of the tragedy in Connecticut this morning. Ill be praying for the families who've lost their loved ones today.

Thank you God, that my three babies are tucked in their beds safe & sound tonight.

Be A Santa

Today, a friend shared a link on facebook about a letter a mother wrote to her daughter regarding Santa Claus.  You can read the whole story HERE.  Reading the letter made me teary because it really encompasses who Santa really is.  The letter said:

Dear Lucy,
Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”
I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.
The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.
I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)
I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.
This won’t make you Santa, though.
Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.
It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.
Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.
So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.
I love you and I always will.
Mama

My favorite part is, "Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness.  I'm on his team."  I am so glad I get to be a part of the Santa team with my kids.  I put a lot of thought into picking out the perfect gift for them each Christmas.  We, as a family, also put a lot of thought into giving to others this time of year too.  One of the most treasured traditions we've started is choosing a toy for Toys for Tots.  We set a budget and allow the kids to chose a gift to put in the Toys for Tots box.  I know the boys don't quite understand the concept yet but Breena definitely does.  The older I get the more truth I find in the phrase "to give is better than to receive".  The satisfaction I get from giving- whether it be to my own family or a stranger far exceeds the benefits of receiving a gift.  I am happy to be on Santa's side.  I hope you are on his team too!

Uftda!

What a busy weekend we had! Thanksgiving dinner, birthday celebrations, baptism, cookie baking and Christmas tree getting all jammed into three days! It was so much fun! Except the part where we had drains back up on our house resulting in tossing 6 bath towels & 2 rugs; use of an entire bottle of Clorax Bleach and a $300 emergency visit from Jetter clean! But the problem is solved and no major harm done. I'm looking forward to a more mellow week!

Scout

We have been having fun with a new tradition in our family; Elf on the Shelf. We named our elf Scout and he is a feisty elf! I get excited each morning listening to them scurry around the house in search of Scout and I love how giddy they become once they find him. Today he showed up while we were choosing our Christmas tree and made the kids squeal with excitement! I'm looking forward to seeing what other mischief Scout gets into this season!

Day 22

I am thankful for the little things...a morning walk around the pond with my children, their noses pink from the cold...a late night snuggle from a little boy who can't sleep... A random "I love you mommy in the middle of the day... The clapping of tiny hand or pitter patter of dancing feet...Eyes beaming with pride after accomplishing a new task...listening to daddy read a bedtime story...Listening to the same song over and over again...Bubble beards in the bathtub...Having a welcoming party greet me at home... There are so many little things that remind each day to be forever grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Day 21

I'm thankful for this smile. Bree and I talked recently about her "incident" three months ago. She remembers every detail down to having leg spasms and what she ate that day. Talking to her reminded me of how grateful I am to have had that be the worst day of my motherhood. How fortunate am I?!? And it also reminded me of how absolutely resilient my darling girl is. I was so upset over the possibility of dark teeth when this happened but as time went on I found it really didn't bother me at all. Here is her smile now, it's barely noticeable. Her personality still shines right thru. And that reminds of a quote I love, "Don't let anything dull your sparkle". You sure haven't let this dull your sparkle Bree! I'm thankful for that & for you.

Day 20

I'm thankful for the kink in my neck I woke up with this morning (actually every morning). We somehow end up with two kids in our bed by the time morning rolls around. It use to try me crazy that they'd sneak in at night but the older they get, the less it bothers me. Snuggling will be scarce before I know it, I'm trying to squeeze out every last bit before its too late. This morning Dave asked Bree why she won't stay in her bed at night. She replied, "Because I love you"! Can't argue with that!

Day 19

In thankful for the fun week ahead! This is my favorite time of year and I am so looking forward to spending time with family!

Day 18

I'm thankful for good healthcare and that my children are able to receive medications when they are ill.

Day 17

Im thankful for the precious sounds coming out of the baby monitor right now. It's 2am, I should be asleep but I can't because of the coos and giggles coming from Toby. I'm not sure why he's awake but he is happily talking to himself in his crib. I was reminded this week thru a friend who's husband has just begun a fight with cancer that life is very fragile. You just never know when you may lose those close to you. And so tonight instead of feeling annoyed I'm choosing to be thankful that I get to listen to those sweet sounds.

Day 16

I'm thankful for my intelligent, funny, selfless, inquisitive best friend. My husband has been a part of my life for over a decade. I can't seem to put together words that are fitting of the deep respect and love I have for him. I am thankful for the compassion he shows our children. I'm thankful that he teases me and forces me to mellow out when I'm being a (his words) "spaz". I love watching him be a daddy and listen to him teach our kids. I am thankful that he's easy going (I'm not) and adjusts well to change (I don't). We are very opposite and always have been but that is what makes "us" so great together. I hope my boys grow up to be just like him and treat their wives as greatly as he treats me. And I pray that when the time comes Breena marries someone just like her daddy. It'd be difficult for her to settle for anything less since Dave has really set the standards so high. I'm thankful for my husband and the endless ways he enriches my life each day.

Day 15

I'm thankful for our parents. I wouldn't be who I am without the guidance and continuous support of my mom and dad. I'm thankful for their presence in my life and for being mentors now that I'm a parent. I'm thankful for Dave's parents for raising an amazing person who is the best father & husband I could dream of. I'm thankful that they've welcomed me into their family and offer encouragement when we need a boast of confidence in rising our children. And I'm incredibly thankful that our children get to call these four influence people in my life GRANDPARENTS. I hope someday they understand how lucky they are to have grandparents that are so involved and love them so much.

Day 14

I'm thankful for my sweet, busy, charming baby boy. Toby is delightful in every sense of the word. He babbles nonstop and carries on conversations with himself in his own little language. He climbs on everything and sucks on anything he can get his fingers on. He adores his siblings, particularly Breena who is who is always willing to give him a snuggle. He is suddenly maturing so quickly and understands more and more each day. While we have only had Toby for 14 months I can't remember what life was like without him. I'm thankful for Toby and the fullness he has made my heart.

Day 13

I'm thankful for my kind, compassionate, adorable daughter. I'm thankful for the goofy things she says that always make us laugh. She's eager to learn and enjoys school. She's a tough little girl (evident from how bravely she handled her mouth injury) and often holds back tears when she gets an owie. She lightens up every room with her infectious smile and laughter. She is so helpful and great to her brothers. I'm thankful for Breena and the many ways she blesses my life.

Day 12

I'm thankful for my goofy, spirited, lovable, first born son Elijah. Eli's life is like a musical; he is almost always singing to himself. He is silly & wild. He plays hard during the day and crashes hard at night. He is sensitive yet stubborn. He is creative and intelligent. I know he is going to so great things in life. With Eli, there is never a dull moment. As he is getting older he strives to please and requires a little less supervision. He's a ray of sunshine on a dreary day. The day he was born I fell in love with another man (sshhh... Don't tell Dave ;)). I'm thankful for Eli and all the many ways he's blessed my life.

Day 11

I'm thankful for the beautiful day we had yesterday! It was 74 & sunny! We had plenty of playtime outside, two delicious meals on the grill, followed by a relaxing campfire with our kids! It was a *perfect* day!

Day 10

In thankful for Saturday morning donut runs with my kids to the "donut store" aka Kwik Trip. I take them in pj's to pick out their breakfast choice. They get so excited! I love surprising them with little things like this.

Day 9

I'm thankful for a mellow weekend! The week days are filled with activities and I work two evenings. Weekends have become a sacred time to spend with my husband and children!

Day 8

I'm thankful for peace and quiet. Like the times when I'm wide awake in the middle of the night just thinking after settling a child back into their bed. I should really be sleeping, but enjoying the silence is good for my soul.

Day 7

I'm thankful for warmth. I'm thankful to have our new furnace installed and to have heat in our home. I'm thankful for hot showers first thing in the morning and a warm bubble bath after a long day. I'm thankful for my heating pad that keeps my feet toasty at night. I'm thankful for warm chocolate chip cookies and fall campfires.

Victory

I'm so so so proud to live in Minnesota today. The people have spoken and stood up against bullying & intolerance. Next step: legalizing marriage for all couples! Yay Minnesota!!!

I Voted

Today I cast my ballot today and stood up for marriage equality. I hope you all voted and voiced your opinions too!

Day 6

I'm thankful for the things my kids are thankful for. On Sunday we made a Thanksgiving tree (an idea I got from a friend). We sat down and wrote what things we are thankful for on a lead to glue to the tree. Breena's first leaf said "Grandma Allen" and then she want on to list all the member of our family that she is thankful for. Eli's first leaf said "my clock" followed by "toy duck". Well.... He didn't really understand the concept this year but Bree did and it was great sitting down with them to complete this project. I'm thankful that they have many reason to be thankful!

Day 5

I'm thankful for siblings, both the ones I was born with and the I've acquired through marriage. I'm thankful for the friendships I've developed with both my brother & my sister. We couldn't be more different but when I need them they'd never let me down. I'm thankful for the relationships I continue to build with my inlaw siblings. And of course I'm thankful for the all the cousins they've given my children. Cousins are your first friends. I'm grateful my kids have 8 of them!

Day 4

I'm thankful for the ability to purchase gifts for my children. I am about halfway finished with my Christmas shopping for them. I love that once a year we are able to spoil them a little with some items off of their wish lists.

Day 3

I'm thankful for our house. We have been on a roller coaster this past year with our home. I sincerely thought we'd be in a larger home this thanksgiving but that wasn't in the cards for us! Though its a mere 1200 square feet I love our home because its cozy & is full of love. The kids don't care that its small, in fact they love sharing a room. We do have a great backyard so I'm very thankful for that! Plenty of space to run! Someday we will have a larger home, but for now this is perfect.

Day 2

I am thankful to be living in America.  I am thankful to be free; to live in a country that rallies around it's neighbors in a time of need; to educate my children; to decide where I live & what car I drive.  I am thankful to the women and men who serve our country and protect us. 

And on that note...The election is just days away.  Minnesotans will be asked to vote on Ammendment 1 (marriage ammendment).  I cannot wait to fill in my ballot with a big fat NO!  But many others (including some of my own friends) will be voting yes to legalize hatred & discrimination of same sex couples.  If you are on the fence about this topic or if you have planned to vote yes please take a minute to visit the link below.  This is Rep. John Kriesel's speech on Ammendment 1. 

http://youtu.be/0WyYRA4aZSI

"Please Vote No.  Stand Up for Freedom." - Rep. John Kriesel

I'm thank for... Day 1

It's that time of year again! I'm going I try to write everyday in November. So here is goes!

Today I am thankful for our dog, Allie. She barks a lot, takes medication for incontinence, runs after strangers, snarls when Toby get a fistful of fur, and while she drives me absolutely nuts I cannot help but love the darn thing. Allie was my first baby, she came to us at a time when I was really needing a fury friend to snuggle. So ill always love her, no matter how annoying she can be!

Halloween!

What a busy day we had! Started off by having orange pancakes for breakfast, followed by making some pumpkins to deliver to Great Grandma and Auntie (who works at my grandmas assisted living facility). Then we headed home for lunch consisting of Mac & Cheese with pumpkin shaped toast & dirt (pudding, cookies and gummy worms)! We topped the day off with a pumpkin shaped pizza and some hardcore trick or treating! Our kids had a blast today, & I certainly did too!

New Cousin

Our kids received a new baby cousin named Joseph this week! They are so excited to have a baby to hold. However, "Joseph" is a difficult name to pronounce when you're two! Today the kids and I had a conversation similar to this today.

Bree; Um, mom? Eli keeps calling Joseph Jof Op but that's not right. His name is Joseph.
Me: Eli is younger than you and he's learning to say his words right. That's how Eli says Joseph, it's okay.
Bree: but it's now right! His name is Joseph!
***eli enters the room***
Bree: Eli, say Joseph!
Eli: Jof Op.
Bree: No! That's not right! It's Joseph!
Eli: that's what I said! Jof Op!

Ha! I love those two.

Bree had a great birthday! She received several great gifts and when I asked what her favorite was she politely replied, "I love them all.". I can't believe she is four already, where has the time gone? I got a bit choked up when I tucked in my four year old into bed tonight. She said to me, "mommy thank you for everything. I love all my presents. Can you please leave the decorations up for one more day because I love them too.". Yes, darling girl I will leave your decorations up as long as you'd like. Thanks to all who made Bree's day extra special <3

Happy Birthday BREE!

Happy 4th Birthday Breena!

 

 There are no words to accurately describe the ways you've blessed my life. 

 

 

I am so proud of the beautiful, unique, intelligent, lovable little lady you are.

 

I love you right up to the moon and back.  Always & forever.  Pinkie Swear,

 

All my love,

Mommy

4

This beauty turns FOUR in two days... Oh how my heart beams with pride over what an awesome kid she is.

 

 

family photos

I'm in love with our latest family pictures and I haven't even seen them all yet!

Naps

After months/years of battling to get the kids down for a nap I finally did the unthinkable: I gave in. This past week we implemented a one hour quiet play time in place of a nap. And it has been HEAVENLY! Honest! I would battle Eli to lay down for over an hour just to get him to sleep for one hour. I was often left with a scratchy voice from constant scolding and the feeling of being a complete failure as his mother. Breena has gotten better about laying nicely but struggled to fall asleep. And so we put a cabosh on the naps in exchange for an early bedtime. Our house is running much more peacefully. Much of it is probably because I am not facing that witching nap war daily. The kids pick up on when I'm feeling stressed and it makes them stressed too. I wish I would've given into the nap battle sooner, but happy the transition has been great for all parties involved!

Dreams

I've been known to have some bizarre, realistic dreams. I sometimes remember them but often hear from Dave the weird thing I say in my sleep. It appears as though Breena has inherited that!

*Last week she told me "When we were in the desert Daddy hurt his leg!" Lasted that day she drew me a picture of Dave with a sad face & blood on his leg! I thought for sure I needed to call a child psychologist! Upon further investigation I found out she had dreamed that we were all playing in the desert when Daddy fell and scraped his knee. She then gave him a bandaid & he gave her piggy back ride! Not as bad as I thought!
* A few days ago Bree came flying into my room & was frantic. She said "I just heard grandma yell for Louie (my moms dog)! I think he ran away!
* This morning's dream recap was by far the best! Bree crawled into bed with me at about 6am this morning. She was opening & closing her hand. Finally she said, "when I close my hand bubbles come out of my fingers!". Later on she started opening and closing her hand again- "now the bubbles are gone Mommy!"

Goofball... Never a dull moment with her!

Miscarriage Rememberance

Precious One,

 

 

 

I held you every second of your life.  You're forever in my heart.

 

All My Love,

Mommy

 

 

{Please light a candle at 7pm tonight in rememberance of miscarriage, stillborn & infant loss.}



Leaves!