Thankful

Thru fun days & long days my heart is always grateful for these little people! 

Balancing Act

I've decided to skip the tradition of posting something I'm thankful for everyday in November for two reasons. A) it gets receptive & I find I list the same things each year. B) I already struggle to find enough time in the day I didn't want to add one more thing. 

It's not that I'm not grateful, because I am.  I have been given MUCH this year to be thankful for.  In fact, I think this has been one of my favorite years yet! The kids are becoming more independent & fun to take out, I've found ways to incorporate excerise & me time without feeling guilty, we were able to purchase a bigger home, all the kids started school & love it, work has been steady & I'm in the beginning stages of what I hope to be a profitable new business venture- all in all things are good. Better than good, great. But despite all the wonderful things we are blessed with, life is still a balancing act.  Everyday I balance time spent reading individually with each kid, housework, playtime, cooking, disciplining, & doing it all over again the next day.  Sometimes I get off balance & need to regroup.  That's where I am at right now.  Having to let the house go a little & not let the pile of laundry on the floor keep me from having a good day.  Or sitting down with our newest reader (yep one of my kids can now read!) instead of scrubbing a tub that desperately needs a good cleaning.  You'd think that after being 'mom' for 5 years I'd have figured this out by now.  The truth is, my role is always changing.  What the kids needed one day isn't what they need the next.  No matter how many times I vacuum the dog will still drag in a pile of leaves on her fur.  Balancing isn't easy, isn't always fun but to keep a harmonious home it's a necessity. Maybe by the time they're 18 I will have figured it all out. ;-) 

Happy Birthday Breena!

Happy 5th birthday to my favorite little girl! We love you & are proud of you everyday!!!! 

Breena Turns 5



It was five years ago from this very moment that I was laying flat on my back in a hospital bed awaiting contractions to begin.  Breena was stubborn & didn't want to come out despite our best efforts to convince her it was time.  Finally I delivered her via C-section on October 28, 2008 at 4:52pm. 

 

 

This morning, Dave & I were reminiscing about our first day with Breena.  Looking back I laugh at how clueless we were.  We brought Bree home from the hospital around 1pm on Halloween.  She needed to eat and so I took her into the nursery to rock her in the glider we had placed in there just for her.  Dave brought me a glass of water (because the book said I should drink water) & a stack of new mother books to browse (which I never, ever should have opened).  He then went to the kitchen to heat up some chicken & leftover potatoes for lunch.  There I was holding my brand new baby in a room all alone for the first time.  I nursed her & cried.  Nursing was a struggle for us (I ended up solely pumping for 6 months for reason beyond my control) & I was lonely without Dave.  Finally, she had drifted off to sleep & lunch was ready.  We put Breena in her bouncy chair & sat next to her on the floor to eat our lunch.  We both just starred at her.  Now what??  I remember asking Dave if we should give her a bath?  Feed her again?  Find her a toy?  I finally decided that I really needed a garbage can and a clock to hang on the wall in the nursery so we went to Target (really dumb idea, who goes to Target three days post C-section?!?).  The trip was fine despite being horribly sore from walking until we were on the way home when I realized I had never grabbed the diaper bag!  Our first family outing & I couldn't even remember a diaper bag!  What kind of mother was I?!?  I starred out the window on the drive home trying to catch the tears before the dripped down my nose.  I didn't want Dave to know I was crying over a diaper bag.  What had happened to me?!?  The answer? Motherhood. 

 

 

Breena has taught me more about my life than I have taught her.  I learned very early on from Breena to follow my instincts and dump the baby books.  It was liberating to be able to have the confidence to be her mom without needing to follow someone else's recommendation.  The first few months of Breena's life helped sculpt our parenting style & taught Dave & I how to work as a team.  Breena is a blessing to us in everyway.  She is resilient & smart.  Funny & silly. Sassy & Sweet.  Breena is kind & faithful.  Confident & loyal.  Breena is a good friend, an excellent sister & an amazing daughter.  I cannot believe it's already been five years since the day I was given the incredible gift of becoming her mom. 

Did it!

5k crossed off bucket list! Onto new adventures...

Rememberance

 

I'll be lighting my candle tomorrow night & remembering the first little heart that I heard beat from within my belly. 

Thinking about grandma tonight. I'm thankful she was able to see our new home & super thankful for this last picture of her with my kiddos.  She loved them so much. 

Love this!

3.1

With two months of training behind me i went for the full 5k this morning. And while speed is not in my favor yet I DID IT!  Felt so great!  The big day is October 19 which gives me a month to increase my speed.  I'd love to finish in 30 minutes but my goal is under 35 minutes.  Woop!  Thanks to my hubby for supporting me, encouraging me &celebrating each tiny victory with me!  

Toby's turn!

Toby's first day of school was today! He was fine when I dropped him off.  But I came at pickup time to find a hysterical little boy who had been sobbing for quite some time.  Apparently he & Eli were outside together for a little while playing. Eli's class went in first which left Toby upset that he couldn't stay with his brother.  Poor kid cried the whole way home.  Up until then his day was good! 

Happy Birthday Toby!

Dear Toby,

 

Before you were born Daddy & really struggled with what your name would be.  It needed to be something out of the ordinary, unique & special just like I knew you would be.  A few weeks before your arrival, we heard the name Tobias and FINALLY agreed that we both loved the name.  I looked up what the name meant and bold letters of "God is Good" scrolled across my computer screen.  It was perfect- Tobias was fitting for you.  God is good because he gave me your daddy.  God is good because he gave me your siblings.  God is good because he gave me you.  God is good on good days.  God is good on bad days.  During thunderstorms & sunshine God is good.  You remind every day how great God is.  You're the final piece to our puzzle, the cherry on top of a delicious ice cream sundae.  I can hardly believe that you've been in my life for 2 whole years!  Thank you, sweet boy, for the many joys we share each day as you grow.  I enjoy everything about you- please don't grow up too fast.  Happy birthday monkey! I love you right up to the moon & back. 

 

 

 

All my love,

Mommy

Eli's Turn!

Eli's first day of school was today! He did GREAT!!!! 

Two!

Guess who turns two on Thursday!?!

 

 

Cannot.  Believe.  It's.  Been.  Two.  Years. 

But gosh do I LOVE this baby.

Most Beautiful Preschooler

The day is here...Breena's first day of her last year in preschool. She did great and had a fantastic time. She can't wait to go back tomorrow. Me? Well, I cried the whole way to the park after dropping her off.  This is a big change for the boys & I. Toby walked around the park yelling "Meena where go?".  Eli teared up watching her leave after being home for just a few minutes (she gets to spend a special afternoon with my mom today to celebrate a good first day).  He said "I miss Bree".  We need to figure out our new normal around here.  Eli's big day is on Wednesday. He is super excited!  He told me he really likes his teacher.  Toby turns 2 on Thursday & goes to school on Friday. All in all, good changes are happening at our home. But its going to take some adjusting for everyone. 

"The days are long, and the years are short"

Our children have grown so much these past few months.  It's fun, amazing, and bittersweet to watch them as the grow.  Here's a little update on each of our little monsters:

Breena is sassy, smart and sweet.  She is very intelligent and eager to learn everything about everything.  She's also got a little sass in her pants (wonder where she got that from!).  Bree is such a blend of Dave & I which is great.  Breena will be heading to a five-mornings a week preschool this year.  She is excited because our little neighbor girl is also in her class.  I never worry about her making friends or adapting to new situations.  She is very friendly and immediately makes new friends wherever we go.  I am thankful that she is outgoing because it is easier to let her go.  But honestly?  I haven't spent much time thinking about her starting preschool this fall because every time I do I start to cry.  I am going to miss her terribly.  We decided to send her five days a week to help prep her for kindergarten.  While I still believe this is a good decision for her, I have a knot in my stomach thinking of how I will spend my mornings without my helper.  And how my boys will adapt without her.  She will be five in October.  FIVE.  When did that happen?!?! She's so beautiful and looks so grown up now.  Such pretty big brown eyes, long blonde hair, & silly smile.  She's a blessing and I love her so.

Eli is timid, hilarious, & creative.  Eli still holds the rank as my most difficult child to figure out!  He tends to be emotional & sensitive.  But also has a heart of gold. Eli is not looking forward to preschool this fall!  He will be going two mornings per week.  When I told him his teacher's name he replied, "no thank you.  I'll stay home".  HA!  Needless to say, preschool may be a bit of a battle the first several weeks.  But he will be just fine there.  Eli loves to ride his bike and play baseball.  He enjoys fishing with daddy & on "papa's boat".  Eli continues to sing at all times.  We've learned to listen closely to the words he sings because it often indicates how he's feeling.  Well, sometimes he just makes things up!  One time he was belting out "mommy pees in the potty daddy pees in the sink"!  HAHA.  Oh Eli.  He is starting to play more with Toby which is fun to watch.  I am glad he has a brother!  Eli makes me laugh more than anyone else.  I love my favorite middle child!

Toby is no longer a baby.  **Sniffle**  He will be TWO in a couple of weeks.  Lately, his words have really started to become clearer!  Every once in a while he will say a full sentence.  Toby will be attending school one morning per week this fall.  I'm guessing there will be tears at drop off, but Toby recovers pretty fast!  I will be working a couple mornings this fall which will be so great.  I want Toby to be able to play with other kids his age & establish confidence in other adult caretakers.  Toby love to read books, play with balls and push anything with wheels!  He likes to "go high mommy go high!" on the swing at the park.  He especially enjoys following Breena & Eli around regardless of what they are doing.  His favorite people are his grandparents, all 4 of them.  He squeals when he sees his "bamma's, bammpa, or papa.  I don't think Toby could possibly get any sweeter.  I could smooch his cheeks all day long and never get bored. Love him. 


Life is busy and crazy.  It's always a balancing act between caring for the kids, house, work, & personal needs.  And MOST days I love spending my days at home with the kids.  I read a quote that said, "the days are long and the years are short".  What a true statement.  Seems like I was just nursing a baby to sleep or up in the middle of the night bathing an infant who had a diaper explosion.  But the truth is, they need me less and less as time goes by.  I pray I've prepared them to face the next stage of their lives with confidence and knowing in their hearts that they are loved unconditionally.  They each bring such different joys to my life.  I have been a mother for almost five years now and there is still a moment in everyday that I find myself in awe that these three kids are mine!

5k

After years of hearing of others talk about finishing a race of some sort-I've finally   decided to join them.  Yep, I signed up to run my first 5k with some girlfriends!  I'm a few weeks into training and this morning I hit 2.5 miles in under 27 minutes!  My goal is 3.1 miles in under 35 minutes.  With 10 weeks to go before race day, I think I'll be able to nail it.  My motivation for any workout? The little people who are waiting at the door for me when I return.  I read a quote that said, "i thought about quitting & then I noticed who was watching".  Running is not my favorite thing to do, but I start my day feeling accomplished & I love being a role model for my kids.  Hard work & determination always pay off.  3.1... Here  I come! 

Six Years

This is the very first picture Dave & I took together (2002; ages 17 & 16).  Tomorrow we celebrate 6 years of marriage together.  I love this boy so much. 

Bree's big week

With all we had going on last week I didn't have a chance to update about Breenas end of the year activities. Breena graduated from her first year of preschool, had a preschool program where she shared with everyone that when she grows up she wants to be a "fairy", had her final day of dance where she earned a certificate for perfect attendance & had a dance recital!!! She did great & we are very proud of our beautiful girl!

A Child's Faith

There are many times I've been amazed at my children.  The first time Breena wrote her name or Eli drew a stick person or Toby finally started to speak to name a few.  But the last time I brought Breena & Eli to see my grandma I was left both amazed and proud of their grace. 

After receiving the call from my mom that grandma was likely within a day of passing I sat down Breena & Eli and explained that Great Grandma's body was dying.  Instinctively Breena said, "well can I see her before she leaves for Heaven?".  I was a bit hesitant to bring them but I couldn't live with the thought of not allowing them to have their final moment with Great Grandma.  I prepared them the best I knew how before we went in to see her.  She was laying in bed, pretty restless.  Occasionally she tried to mumble something that we couldn't understand.  I bent over her so my mouth was near her ear & told her I had Breena & Eli here.  Breena & Eli ran to her bedside to give her the mother's day cards they had made for her.  Breena had taken the time to carefully write "Great Grandma" on her card which is no easy task for a new writer!  They were fearless, it didn't seem to faze them that grandma looked different laying in bed wearing a simple hospital gown..  Her dentures were not in, she was not in control of her arms but my children didn't care.  Breena wanted to give her a kiss so I plopped her on the bed beside grandma.  At that moment, my grandmother who had been fairly unresponsive for a day opened her eyes to look at Bree & said "Hi!  How are you?".  Grandma then puckered up and Bree gave her a smooch.  It was Eli's turn.  She was able to acknowledge him too and he gave her a kiss.  As I was standing next to grandma's bedside I held her hand.  Eli noticed this.  He reached up and took hold of her fingers, lightly stroking his thumb against the top of her hand.  The image of my three year old son holding the hand of my 87 year old grandma is a picture my mind will never erase.  What a blessing for me to witness these last moments.  When it was time for us to leave I asked the kids if they'd like to give grandma one last kiss; of course they did.  They really love her.  At this point Grandma was non responsive again.  But my kids didn't care.  Breena smooched her forehead and Eli gently planted one last kiss on the tip of her nose.   And together (with a hot lump in my throat) we left. When we got in the car Bree said to me, "That's the last time I will see my Great Grandma until I see her in Heaven". 

Our kids have such faith, especially Breena.  She just seems to "get it".  We've been answering a lot of questions about death & heaven the past few days.  We've had many discussions about Angels and God.  I sometimes wonder who is teaching who...I am thankful that they're encouraging me to have a little more faith too.   

Grandmother's Legacy

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I get to host lunch at my house.  But one mother will be missing.  This evening, my grandmother passed away.  It was quite unexpected & it hasn't totally sunk in yet.  I did get to see her this morning, she was so peaceful.  I am glad that my last memory with her is that way. 

 

My grandma was a great woman.  I have fond memories of playing checkers & Old Maid with her as a child.  I enjoyed listening to her stories about England.  She was always happy to see us & loved loved loved LOVED my children.  She was an excellent mother & in turn a fantastic grandmother.  The night I got engaged my mom & dad were in Mexico- therefore the first place I drove to show off my ring was to my Grandma's.  She was always encouraging & made sure we knew that she loved us all.  A great woman like her only breeds other great woman. Because of this beautiful woman:

 

I have this beautiful woman: 

 

Who is the single most influencial woman in my life. Her mother was great and in turn taught her to be great.  And she gave me this beautiful sister to look up too:

 

Someone who has a mother's heart that I try to model my own parenting after.   And we have little girls we are raising to someday (it they choose) have beautiful mother hearts of their own:

 

 

And so the legacy of my sweet Grandmother will continue to live on. 

 

Tonight I am thankful and grateful to have many mother's to celebrate tomorrow.  I'll be hugging them a little tighter in honor of the beautiful woman who started it all. 

 

I love you, Grandma.  We will see you again someday.  Happy First Mother's Day in Heaven. 

 

 

Me minus 20 :-)

We are 18 weeks into 2013 & I stepped on the scale this morning. I have officially said goodbye to 20 pounds & 2 pant sizes! Yay!!! Thankful for my husband who allows me to head to the gym at 5am & is always willing to stay home with the kids so I can get in some me time. It's been a great year!

Six Years

Our sixth wedding anniversary is month away.  Last week Dave was away on business so I pulled out our photo albums to show the kids pictures of daddy.   This one popped out at me.  That was such a fun day!  Can't wait to toast to our sixth year of marriage, it just keeps getting better. 

 

 

May 3...<3

"Beam Me Up" by Pink

There's a whole n'other conversation going on
In a parallel universe
Where nothing breaks & nothing hurts
There's a waltz playing frozen in time Blades of grass on tiny bare feet
I look at you, you're looking at me
Could you beam me up?
Just for a minute
I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there holding your face
Could you beam me up?
Let me be lighter
I'm tired of being a fighter
I think, a minute's enough
Could you beam me up?

Ready for summer

We are having a snow storm today. On may 1. I'm so over this, just 3 days ago we were playing in the pool!!

Pearly Whites

Look who got her teeth lightened!!! It was quick and painless & Bree was a rock star! Here's a before & after!

Stuck

Photo credit goes to daddy. I'm so sorry I wasn't in the room to see this funny little boy!

Moved in!

Talking to Eli today...
"Eli, do you like our new house?"
Eli said "Yep. It's really great!"

That pretty much sums up how we all feel. All moved in. Unpacked (mostly). Feels like home already. Everyone sleeping well & setting in nicely. Dave & I are so tired we can't see straight but very happy to be here! Looking forward to a less exciting week ahead!

Eli Turns 3!!!

Happy Birthday ELI!!! I love the adorable, silly, creative, unique little boy you are!! I love you right up to the moon & back!

Little Eli

My little Eli will be turning three on Thursday, and boy is he ready.  Eli hated being a baby & never enjoyed being a toddler.  Now he is entering "preschool age" and he is ready to be a big boy!  Eli is a kid I wish everyone had the privelage of knowing.  He is overly reactive, overly sensitive, spirited, creative, kind, adventurous, and downright hilarious.  From the day he was born he has been the most difficult child to figure out of our three children.  He was colicky & whiny as a baby.  I remember just praying he would grow up fast so I could FINALLY get to know the little person he was instead of constantly listening to him cry.  Now that he is nearly 3, he has grown out of that (thank goodness) and into a striking little man.  I relate most to Eli and in many ways I understand him better than anyone else.  See, I am a middle child.  I fit the mold exactly.  Eli does too.  He & I, we need to stick together!  I love that kid so so much.

At 3, Eli...
~ Doesn't know any colors.  And doesn't care to learn any!  In fact if asked, " what is that color Eli?" he will respond with, "don't know!".  He will get it...I hope!
~ Is becoming a really good counter!
~ Love Mac & Cheese & fruit.  Hates veggies & milk.
~ Much prefers being outside riding a bike/skateboard over anything else.
~ Has music running through his viens.  Eli sings ALL. OF. THE. TIME.  And often times he doesn't even realize he is doing it.  Today, at Walmart he was belting out an obnoxious song he learned on a cartoon and I asked him to quiet down.  He said to me, "why? was I singing?"!
~ Is quite the dancer.  This kid has some moves let me tell you!  Move over Usher!
~ Enjoys painting and gets pretty creative!
~ Likes to be inclulded in everything we do, he's right there helping me pack boxes as we prepare to move (it's taking 10 times longer since I have to re-pack once he is in bed).
~ Is a great brother to both Bree & Toby.  While they all have their moments of bickering, Eli really is their best friend.  That's a perk of being the middle child!
~ Cannot whisper in a quiet voice to save his life.
~ Takes forever to fall asleep at naptime becuase he has to talk/sing/roll him self to sleep.
~ Loves when he gets to spend one on one time with Mom or Dad without a sibling around. 

Eli is so unique and special.  His vibrant personaility keeps me on my toes everyday and it makes me a better mom.  Having Eli made me more courageous, patient, & taught me to laugh more.  He's the reason I took a risk and became self-employed.  He's the reason I learned to advocate strongly for my children when I just didn't feel like something was right (being a collicky baby).  He makes me enjoy simpler things in life and take time to dance when there's no music playing.  He makes me proud.  Eli was a bit of a surprise (a very welcome & wonderful surprise) & I am so grateful to be his mother. 

3rd Bday!

With Eli's 3rd birthday on the horizon he is busy making plans for his big day. For example, he wants donuts for breakfast & Mac & cheese for supper. He wants to watch Little Einsteins before nap. And this morning he informed me, "I am not going to go poop on my birthday". Good for you buddy, good for you.

MOVING!!!

It's so hard to believe that just a week ago we had our house listed with no offers & no new home picked out. What a whirlwind the past week has been!! The inspection on our home went well! Just a few minor things for us to do which is so great. We inspect our new home next week but I don't anticipate any problems there. The Luiken's are moving out in less than 4 weeks! Yikes!! I have begun packing up, Dave was a bit alarmed when he came home from work last night to find every wall hanging had been removed. But I have 3 little kids! I have to do a little bit everyday or we will NEVER get packed! 2013 is turning out to be a great year!!

The house

We found a house we love. And today the sellers accepted our offer! I am kind of in shock. I'm trying hard not to get my hopes up since we have 2 hurtles left to conquer before its a done deal (inspections) but its hard not too! I have started packing and organizing things we don't use often as well as starting a collection of items to donate to a thrift store. I am really surprised at how bittersweet this feels. I really did not expect to have any sad feelings about leaving this house. But the reality is that when we moves in five years ago, it was just the two of us and my heart was broken since our miscarriage was just weeks prior. It wasn't really a happy time. We fixed this house up a bit before moving in and often times I was here alone painting baseboards and barely being able to see out of my swollen, foggy eyes. When I think about leaving here (four weeks from tomorrow! Yikes!!!!) I am just so grateful that we will be bringing 6 extra tiny feet (& 4 paws) with us. Not only that but we will be moving to a home I really love. I kind of wonder why we deserve to be blessed so richly. But I'm thankful for every bit of it. March 29 can't get here fast enough! I will be relieved when the process is over and we are settled into our new home. Keep crossing your fingers for us as we make it thru inspections next week!

Cautiously Optimistic

After just SIX DAYS on the market we received an offer on our house. Not just any offer, a really-great-can't-hardly-believe-how-good-it-is offer! The potential buyer will have a home inspection done on our house this week & if it goes well we will be moving! I am trying not to get too excited. We've been here before and watched an offer disappear after an inspection. But I'm feeling really good about this one. So now we are scrabbling to find a house to buy/rent! I hope we get super lucky an its smooth sailing from here on out!

Miserable Boy

The worst part of having the house up is having to leave, even when I have a sick kid. We have been battling colds at our house (myself included) this week. I finally brought Toby to the doctor today thinking he had pink eye, turns out my little dude has a bacterial eye infection, sinus infection, & ear infection. Poor little man! No wonder he looks so awful! I wish we could snuggle on the couch all day but unfortunately I have to venture out into the winter tundra because we have 2 showings today. *sigh* pjs and snuggles as soon as we get home!

This stinks.

Our first house showing did not result in a sale unfortunately. So tomorrow the house goes up for sale officially. I am already mentally exhausted and we have barely started. I suppose it doesn't help that the boys & I have been battling nasty colds this weekend. Sometimes being a grown up really stinks. I want to move back in with my mom & not have to make grown decisions about houses (just kidding, mom! I won't move back in!). Send us some good house selling vibes! We could sure use them!

Here we go again...

Come Monday this sign will be in our yard once again.

 

 

 

We are REALLY hoping for a painless sale this time around.  It has taken me nearly seven months to 'get over' the way things ended last time we had our home on the market.  We are going into it a little wiser this time having had a deal fall through previously.  If you think of it, send us a little good luck!  We have a showing lined up for this Friday already.  Perhaps luck will be on our side and these people will just buy it!  

January Funk

It's that time of year again! January funk time. I dread January! It's cold, boring and long. January is usually the month when I re-evaluate how things are going for me. In past January funks I've decided to switch jobs (I worked at day care for about 2 hours); registered for technical college (and then didn't go); moved homes (from an apartment back home and into a new apartment the next year); & painted (& re-painted) multiple rooms. I've been toying with a few ideas for home "pick me up" type projects. But I have yet to start any (except for overhauling all the closets). My January funk use to annoy Dave. He didn't like coming home from work to the furniture being rearranged every day for a week. But now he gets me, and he's great about supporting (or politely re-directing) my January funk projects. With only 7 days left of January I have got to get moving on my latest projects! I am pretty sure it will involve some crown molding and a nail gun (God, help us all!). I am ready for spring!

Toby's 16 months

I'm not sure when it happened but Toby is already 16 months old! He is such a joy to have! At 16 months Toby...
... Is finally done with the bottle. I just stopped giving if to him before bed and the transition has been no problem for him. For me? Well, it's possible tears have been shed over this small victory.
... Is talking! Words have been more difficult for Toby than his older siblings but he is no longer mute! He can say: dada, mama, owie, uh oh, quack quack, all done, bye, hello, love you & I'm sure there's others I'm forgetting! I'm so proud of him!
...is a daddy's boy. It's becoming more and more obvious that daddy is his favorite person these days. Tonight he bumped his head and as I went to pick him up for comfort him he ran away from me straight into daddy's arms.
... Has the sweetest smile you'll ever see. Toby's giggle will melt you into a puddle. I just love listening to him laugh!
... Adores his siblings. It's fun that he is starting to play with Eli when Breena is at school. They chase each other and have a great time together. He loves to follow Bree with books and sit on her lap while she reads to him. It's adorable to see them together.
... Is sleeping thru the night! This is HUGE! We have started giving him a pediasure after super each night in the hopes of making him gain a few pounds (he's a picky eater). It's also helped to fill his belly before bed & therefore he's sleeping better.

Toby is in such a fun stage right now. I could seriously watch him all day long an never get bored. I'm so looking forward to springtime when we can be outside playing again. Our family is going to have a great year with our three kiddos at great ages!

Kindergarten

I don't even want to say the word. Bree will head to kindergarten in the fall of 2014. That leaves just a year and half o have her to myself. I am so not ready to think about this. Every aspect of sending her to kindergarten makes me sad. I am sad that she won't be with me, sad that Eli & Toby will spend a good chunk of the day without her, sad to send her off to an environment that I have absolutely no control over, sad that the other kids may not always be nice, and sad that my baby is getting so big. This is a part of motherhood I wasn't prepared for, I never dreamed it would be this difficult to sit back and let my kids grow without holding their hand all of the time. It feels like someday I'm going to wake up and find myself watching proudly as her daddy walk her down isle. The reality of how fast time truly moves has set in as I'm filling out applications for preschool next fall. A huge part of my wants to homeschool her, to keep we with me where I know she is safe. But the tiny voice inside my head knows better. So come September 2014 she will head off to elementary school; and I will be left sitting in the car with tear stained cheeks watching as my 6lbs brown eyed beautiful baby girl excitedly runs into future, wondering where the years have gone. I'm so proud of her and I love her dearly. If you knew her, you couldn't help but love her too. She has one of the kindness souls I've ever seen. My little girl is going to do great things someday, how lucky I am to be her mother.

The Resolution

Its january 13 & my personal resolutions for 2013 are already off to a great start. I've managed to workout at the gym 9 days, worked out at home 2 days and taken 2 days off. This has already resulted for a 7lbs weight loss! I was hoping for a change physically by losing some fat I've packed on in motherhood but what I wasn't anticipating was finding out that I really do love working on me! The 45 minutes I spend in the gym are so peaceful. I throw my headphones on and genuinely enjoy working up a sweat and focusing on myself. While I've only just begun, I have found myself to have more energy and also more patience. It's great to take this time for myself and not feel guilty. Fortunately the gym we belong to has a child care area so I am able to go when it works for me instead of always having to go at night (which I stink at. I like being lazy at night). All in all I'm quite proud of myself and the progress I can already see. This year is going to be so great, I can tell already!

I love that

Eli's life is a musical. He seriously sings all of the time! We actually have to talk about when it's inappropriate to sing loudly (like in Walmart)!

I love when...

Breena helps her brother learn to play the leapster. She had the patience of a saint!

I love it when

...Toby wants to sit on my lap and he just backs up an plops down.