Fun Summer Days

Cupcake

"Mommy, this is the best cupcake I ever ate!"

Eli put your pants on!

If I had a quarter for every time I've said "Eli, put your pants on!" I'd be a very rich lady!

Being Mom

I have three unique & special children.  They each of their own personalities, likes & dislikes, struggles & victories.  Because of this I’m required to be three moms in one package.  I have the same hopes for each child- to be happy & successful in all they do; to try their best; to be kind to others & so on.  But I’m finding that as they get older I have different expectations for each of them & I approach each child differently.  Obviously, I have no favorites (I love them each an astronomical amount) & what’s best for them is that I treat them as an individual- like the unique little person God created them to be. 

Being Breena’s Mom…

Has taught me to be more sensitive & offer more hugs & kisses.  Breena is a sensitive little girl.  She doesn’t cry much but her feelings are easily hurt.  She loves snuggles and would be happy if I (she would actually prefer Daddy) cuddled her to sleep every night.  Being Breena’s mom has required me to make tough decisions & question whether or not I’m doing this whole “mommy” thing right.  She’s our first and in many ways she is the guinea pig when it comes to how we choose to parent our kids.  Being Breena’s mom has taught me that even moms make mistakes & have to say they are sorry.  I can’t count the number of times I’ve lost my temper with her & had to apologize for shouting.  I’m fortunate that she is my oldest.  She is eager to help around the house, she’s forgiving of my faults, she is sweet & funny.  Before I was Breena’s mom I just never knew I could love someone so deeply.

Being Eli’s Mom…

Has taught me to be patient & made me courageous.  As an infant Eli required a lot of attention, extra snuggles, & the ability to block out screams for hours upon hours each day.  He needed me & Dave.  Because of this when Eli was just three months old I made the decision to leave the job I had been at for 7 years in order to pursue my own business where I could work hours that allowed me to spend more time with Eli.  It took a lot of courage to take such a risk- I have Eli to thank for that.  Being Eli’s mom has made me relax & not worry so much.  He is a monkey- climbs on everything & gets into everything.  I’ve had to chill out a bit and let him explore his surroundings without constantly nagging him to stop (I step in if it’s dangerous of course).  Being Eli’s mom makes everyday interesting.  His imagination is huge & he uses the entire house when he plays.  He sings silly songs, dances around the living room, takes his pants off at the park, wears my heels- much of the laughter in our house is a direct result of Eli being his silly self.  Before I was Eli’s mom I never realized how magical it is to watch your two children interact & develop a friendship.

Being Toby’s Mom…

Has taught me to slow down & drink in the every ounce of sweetness of watching my babies grow.  Toby is almost one & I swear it was just yesterday that I brought him home from the hospital.  It’s sad that it took the third baby for me to truly enjoy the sleepless nights, a restless baby in my bed, the screams while waiting for a bottle to warm up.  Toby will soon be done with the bottle, often sleeps 12 solid hours at night, very rarely snuggles with me.  In fact my favorite part of the day is when Toby wakes from his afternoon nap & sits still on my lap for 5 minutes.  I love smelling his freshly washed/lotioned skin after a bath.  I love his toothless, mouth-wide-open kisses.  His position as the last baby in our family suits his personality- he is easy going, loves watching his siblings play & loves it even more when the play with him.  One year ago he was in my tummy & today he climbed up the slide all by himself at the park.  Being Toby’s mom reminds me to notice & remember to capture a memory of the small things everyday.  Before being Toby’s mom I never dreamed my heart would be so full. 

 

The days seem to fly by now.  Our kids are at such fun ages- I genuinely enjoy spending every minute I can with them.  This morning we spent two hours at the park- it felt like 20 minutes.  We had so much fun playing games & running around.  When Dave & I got to our honeymoon destination after our wedding the song playing the hotel lobby was “The Best is Yet to Come”.  How very true.  These are some great times.  Being Breena’s Mom, Eli’s Mom & Toby’s Mom is a title I wear proudly & with a great deal of gratitude.

                                                                                              

Bug's Smile

Its been almost 2 weeks since accident & Bree is getting some dark teeth in the front. I've cried so many tears over this. Hoping they don't get any darker but thankful she's not in any pain.

"it won't be like this for long..."

Preschool

As I mentioned before Breena will be starting preschool this fall. She is so ready! It's amazing how much she's matured in the past few months. As I begin to think about how different our lives will be this fall having her in school two mornings a week it makes me sad. I'm really going to miss having her around all the time! She is so helpful, plays nicely with her brothers, & is constantly making me laugh. She is going to have to much fun meeting new friends & I'm excited for her. But Tuesday & Thursday mornings just won't be the same without my little bug running around. Time to put on my big girl pants and let her go have some adventures of her own...sigh...I wish I could keep her little forever.

Bree Update

Bree is healing every nicely! Today she only needed Tylenol once for tooth pain. Her teeth haven't grayed yet, the bruising is subsiding, swelling is nearly gone, the roof of her mouth is smoothing out (was very raw & rippled) & she has gotten the skip back in her step. It's so nice to have my little girl back to her old self. For days she has been melancholy. She earned a timeout today for back talking. As much as it annoyed me that she was being sassy I smiled after I sat her down in a time. It was great to know she is feeling better. We found some mellow activities to do over the weekend including playing makeup and a walk by the river (pictures are below). Thanks to everyone who dropped a kind thought or prayer Breena's direction last week. It was much appreciated!

Fall

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Fall? Because I do. Fall is my absolute favorite season! I think I started loving Fall the year Bree was born. I have such fond memories of taking long walks with Allie (our dog) while I was massively pregnant. I'd use those peaceful walks to daydream about the baby in my belly. Thus began my love of fall. Fall brings back such sweet memories of my first few days of motherhood. It's a beautiful outside and cozy inside. I just LOVE fall! I'm finding I love fall even more now because fall represents the beginning or activities for my children. This fall is going to be BUSY here. Monday mornings Eli & I have an early childhood class (other two kids go to sibling care). Tuesday mornings Bree has preschool, Toby & I have an early childhood class, & Eli gets to spend some time with grandma. Wednesdays we will try head to the Children's Museum. Thursdays Bree has preschool AND her & Eli have gymnastics in the evening. Fridays we are going to have a mellow day around home! I enjoy early childhood classes and the kids love the interaction with little friend their own ages. Breena is so excited for preschool. She has matured immensely in the last year & is going to do awesome. She even tells me that if she sees that a friend is missing their mommy she will ask them to play with her to help make them feel better. Thoughtful little lady we've raised. I'm ready for the summer to end and begin our new adventures! This fall will be great! And in case I didn't mention it enough... I LOVE FALL!!!!

Nail Salon

We play with Breena's new nail polish when her brothers go to bed! It may be her absolute favorite thing to do!

Breena's Major Owie

(Warning...TMI)

On Wednesday the kids begged to walked to the park by our house.  It wasn't in my schedule but it was a nice day out so I agreed.  Breena normally would ride her bike but she decided she'd rather walk.  So off we went with the boys in the stroller.  We got to the park and there were a few other kids there.  I plopped Toby in the swing as my big kids ran to crawl on the playground equipment.  they giggled as the went across the wobbly bridge and down the slides.  We hadn't been there more than five minutes when the accident happened.  I saw both kids playing on the bridge.  Suddenly they were both screaming and crying.  I could tell by the cry that someone was really hurt.  I ran over as the started walking towards the steps.  Breena had blood gushing out of her mouth.  Her hands were covered, it was on her forehead and in her hair.  I immediately lifted up her top lip.  The blood was coming from her gums and it appeared as though her teeth had been knocked in (hard to tell with all the blood).  She was hysterical.  I told her to walk to the stroller as I lifted Eli down. He had a big purple bump on his forehead with the imprint on four tiny teeth.  It didn't take a genius to figure out that the two had obviously run into one another.  And clearly Breena had taken the worst beating.  Toby was screaming in the swing because I had left him there to help the others.  I laid Breena back in the stroller (at this point she was shaky and still sobbing) and plopped Eli in the front.  I then preceded to push the stroller with one arm while holding my cell phone to my ear to call for help, and hold a very cranky Toby in the other arm.   It only takes about 10 minutes to walk from the park to our house.  But it was the longest 10 minutes of my life.  I got a hold of my mom who was luckily only blocks away.  I told her I thought Bree's teeth had been pushed in but I needed her to come take a look.  My mom met us at home- she pulled up just as I was getting to our house.  Bree was whimpering in pain.  Eli had already forgotten he even had a bump.  Toby was still cranky.  I lifted up Bree's lip again - this time is was clear that she need immediate medical care.  I called the dentist to alert them that I was bring Bree in as I scrounged to find her blankie and a cold rag for her mouth.  She and I left for the dentist within minutes. 

The drive there was horrible.  I was shaky and nauseous just thinking about the amount of pain she was in.  She was sobbing in her carseat the whole way.  I tried singing silly songs and telling her funny stories but nothing could ease her pain.  The staff at the dental office were waiting and took Breena right back to an exam room.  The staff talked with her and explained things to her as we waiting for the dentist.  I wish I could say that I was Super-Mama during this time.  But that's a lie.  The truth is I was a wuss.  The dentist came in and lifted up her lip and she wailed.  I got major tunnel vision, but snapped out of it.  (I use to pass out easily, for example I once fainted after seeing my sister's puffy cheeks from wisdom teeth removal.  Since having children I haven't passed out once).  In my head I kept saying to myself, "you are the mother. do not pass out.  you need to be strong for your baby. grow up you wuss. pull yourself together.".  He started to talk about Bree's injuries- tunnel vision again.  This time accompanied by feeling the color leave my face and nausea.  I politely stepped behind the exam room wall so Breena wouldn't see me faint.  The staff members were so awesome.  She held Bree's hand and just explained that mommy was sad and I'd be right back.  I sat for a moment with my head down, vomited into a bucket, and then felt better.  I returned to sit next to my brave little girl.  The dentist again started to explain to me that Breena had knocked her front teeth so far back that when she closed her mouth they were behind her bottom teeth.  They'd need to physically pull her teeth back to the correct position.  Tunnel vision and loss of color again.  This time an assistance must've seen.  She immediately piped in and said, "Mom I need  you to come fill out paperwork for me right now please."  Breena was okay with that.  She had settled down and was even talking to the staff.  They let her watch some silly shows on TV.  She even cracked a little smile.  I promised her I'd be right back. They lead me to a consult room and gave me a wet cloth.  I was drenched in sweat at this point and barely choking back tears.  I knew the wanted to give Bree the Novocaine without me present.  But I heard her let out a blood curdling scream and couldn't stay away.  I bolted back to the room and stroked her little face as the tears rolled down her cheeks.  She was give four shots to numb the area.  It took a few minutes to set in but once it did it immediately relieved her pain.  She smiled and talked to me.  And then it was time to pull her teeth forward.  I didn't watch this part- instead I held her hand & tried to get her to watch TV with me.  No use.  The dentist pulled her teeth and she screamed the hardest I've ever heard her scream in her entire life.  I just kept repeating, "It's okay baby, its all done.".  We were given our aftercare instructions and were able to leave.  I was/am so proud of my girl.  She was SO BRAVE at the dentist.  Despite the fact that she was in an excruciating amount of pain she cooperated with every request they had and never once batted a hand away from her mouth.  There were four people present to help hold her still- not one person had to step in.  Just the dentist and one assistant.   They were kind and compassionate towards her.  They made the situation seem not-so-scary and I believe it truly helped keep her calm.  And as she sat up to go home she even thanked them all.  What an amazing little girl we have.

We had Breena's teeth checked again yesterday and they were able to get a good xray.  The good news is there appears to be no fracture in the teeth or root damage which means they *should* heal okay on their own.  And hopefully the permanent teeth will be unaffected.  The bad news is that it is likely she will have discolored baby teeth due to the blood pooling in her tooth.  Her smile will never look the same as it did before.  Her teeth are still shifted fairly far back which makes her smile look different.  Currently, her teeth are still white but the gums are black from bruising.  She's also developed a lisp.  I'm not sure if that is because her 'bite' is different or simply because the top of her mouth is sore so she is talking cautiously.  I'm kind of a sucker for the lisp. She limps in the morning & after a nap complaining that her legs hurt.  We think she pulled some muscles because she was so tense when she was screaming.  And tonight she is complaining of a headache, to be expected also I think.  But all in all she is doing fantastically well considering what a crappy few days she's had.  She doesn't complain when I remind her to slow down or stop running.  She hasn't complained about eating only soft food.  I'm so impressed and proud of her.  It probably doesn't hurt that mom & dad (& grandma) have showered her with some special gifts to lift her spirit.  Breena is a little rock star- I pray she heals quickly.

As for me, I'm left with horrible memories and mommy guilt over ever aspect of this accident.  I shouldn't have gone to the park Wednesday.  I should've been able to pull it together at the dentist.  It is so hard to not feel guilty and horrible.   I'm honestly not sure who has cried over this more- her or me.  Seeing my daughter in such pain was wicked awful.  I've been wanted to write it out so I clearly remember what happened but even as I write this I have a lump in my throat.  To date this is by far my WORST day as a mother hands down (I'd guess Bree would rank this as her worst day ever too).  Bree is snuggled in bed sound asleep right now.  I'm grateful for that because even though it was a traumatic injury it could always be worse.

Thank you to everyone who helped us on Wednesday- the staff at the dental office- and my mom who always comes to the rescue!  I'm 26 years old and I rely on my mom more now than before I had children.  Thanks MOM!

Attempting A Swollen Smile Thursday Morning





Taken This Evening- beautiful smile!

Kindness

We were able to visit Dave's parents this weekend. Our kids have so much fun up there. They live on a lake and to get to their house we have to drive a very short distance on a gravel road. Eli is fearful of loud noises. The gravel really scares him. Each time he starts to hear the little rocks bounce again our wheel well in the van he reaches over towards Breena. She instinctively grabs onto his little hand and holds it tight as we drive on the gravel. They exchange no words but instead sit quietly holding hands until we reach Grandma & Papa's house. Sometimes the the most meaningful gesture of kindness is as simple as holding someone's hand. If everyone took the time to hold a hand of someone who needs reassurance, just think what a great world this would be.