Celebrating & Grieving

Today is Toby's one week birthday.  Just one week ago I could barely feel my feet.  I was confined to a bed.  And I was loving every minute of it because I had just had welcomed my sweet son into the world.  It's been a week.  We are now at home.  Toby is healthy & beautiful.  The other kids are starting to adjust.  They loved their extra time with grandparents and daddy last week.  I am so in love with this new little boy.  He eats well and lets me get some sleep during the night.  My other kids love him too.  But even with all this goodness surrounding our family right now I cannot help but feel a little sad.  A part of me is grieving the end of the childbearing chapter of my life.  Never again will I hear one of my own newborns cry for the first time.  I won't bring another new baby home.  In time I will probably forget how wonderful it feels to snuggle a newborn as we both fall asleep.  I will miss this.  The past four years of my life have been full of pregnancy & nursing new babies.  It feels weird to be done and to close that chapter for good.  And yet I feel like celebrating Toby's one week birthday and celebrating the adventures that lay ahead.  It's odd to grieve & celebrate at the same time.  I'm torn.  I'm tired.  And I'm grateful.  I was talking with a friend about feeling sad that we are finished having children.  Her words to me helped put things in perspective.  She said, "I felt sad too.  But I knew deep in my heart that my life was going to be full.  And that was enough." 

Daddy

This man has made my life so easy this week. 

Thank you for taking care of our children & allowing me to rest.  It means so much to me to be able to snuggle our newborn without worrying about anything else.  I love you.

Preschool & An Update

Here she is!  My beautiful preschooler!  She did awesome on her first day!  Daddy brought her to school & she was shy- but no tears!  She came to visit me in the hospital immediately after school and she was all smiles!  I am so relieved that she had fun & very proud of her!

 First Family Photo!

Brothers!

 Big Sister!

How are we doing?

Pretty good!  I am hoping to be able to head home today but we will need to wait to see if I get the doctor's ok.  Toby's lost about 10% of his weight which may or may not keep us here an extra day.  I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed!  Breena is absolutely in love with Toby.  She is so gentle with him!  Eli points and says "Toby" but that's about it.  Dave is taking good care of mommy & Toby at the hospital!  Thanks for checking in on us!

Introducing...

TOBIAS ALLEN LUIKEN

(TOBY)

Born September 12, 2011
7:52am
6 Pounds 14.7 Ounces
21 & 3/4 Inches Long

Perfectly & Beautifully Made :)


 

Dear Son

Dear Sweet Baby Boy,

I've been waiting for you, praying for you, & carrying you safely within me for nine months.  Tomorrow we meet.  I'm anxious to have you in my arms and know you are healthy.  I cannot wait to smell your innocent baby breath and kiss your tiny cheeks.  When you come out you will instantly become:

*a sibling to 2 amazing kids

*a cousin to 7 equally as awesome kids

*a nephew to 3 aunts & 3 uncles

*the seventh grandchild on one side

*the six grandchild on the other

*the 14th great grandchild to your great grandmother
*the 15th great grandchild to your other set of great grandparents

You already mean so much to so many people who will love you & help guide you through life.  As your mother I promise to always have your best interest at heart; to encourage you; to teach you about God, to protect you; and to love you forever & ever.  Tomorrow we will complete our "Forever Family" with your arrival.  I'll see you tomorrow precious son.

All My Love,
Mommy



ON A SIDE NOTE: Today is grandparents day!  Happy Grandparent's Day to the awesome people my kids' are fortunate to call their grandparents!  We feel *SO LUCKY* to have grandparents that are extremely involved in our kids' lives & love them as much as we do!  Our kids adore & look up to you.  You are all GREAT!!!  Love you!

Pic

In about 41 hours there will be another baby in this picture...

we can't wait!

Sweet

Eli just pulled up my shirt, said the baby's name & kissed my belly.  I might be in tears the rest of the day... 

My kids couldn't be any sweeter if they were dipped in chocolate & covered in sprinkles.